Hit and Miss

Rugby is like Team Battle Royale on a football field. 
I am not going to pretend that I understand the rules of rugby. And I definitely cannot detail how exactly the Auckland Blues defeated the Wellington Hurricanes on Sunday. All I know is that we were cheering for the blue team and the blue team won. Everything else I can offer is either speculation or a lie.
So.
I have learned that you are supposed to violently tackle your opponents [although not too violently or else you will go to the Sin Bin].  There is a place called the Sin Bin. This is where players get sent when they have been bad. There is also something called a scrum: an awkward arm-in-leg dance choreographed by the referee. The embrace ends when someone emerges from the pack with the ball, passes it [but never forward] or runs stupidly fast to avoid being clotheslined and kicked in the face, back, and stomach. And there you have it.  If I share too much more, I will most certainly embarrass myself and my American family and friends.

Tickets to the game were only $20 NZD.  The splurge did in fact comply with the rules and regulations set forth by the terms and conditions of frugality.  To directly negate our job well done though, Tim and I walked to Eden Park early so that we could consume two massive vegan burgers and two large fries from Handmade. The portions are unearthly large: "You sure you want two large fries?" The guy behind the tall counter gave us an incredulous stare, pausing a moment before showing us just how enormous the burgers are.  We promptly replied: "Yes." Do not underestimate the carrying capacity of two vegans who love food.

It was a short distance to roll ourselves from dinner to the stadium. We arrived with plenty of time before the start so we caught the pre-game show in its entirety. First, there were about fifty barefoot kids on the field chasing each other in a modified game of rugby. It was an enjoyable show of child exploitation and cuteness.  After the dust had cleared, a bunch of hipster rock dudes with instruments strutted onto the field and took their spots on a small stage. Hipsters are an anomaly here but old habits die painfully slow. Puhlease. Tim and I shared a synchronous eye roll and waited impatiently to hear what we were about to be slapped with.

Despite our derisive commentary throughout their entire set, Midnight Youth had talent.  In fact, it took a few songs to figure out if they were playing live or if their set was pre-recorded.  This band actually sounded good.  Wait, I mean, they are not my type of music or anything but I appreciated their performance. Clap clap clap.

 Falafel burger the size of your face + fries from Handmade. 

Kingsland, Auckland.

 Midnight Youth take the stage at Eden Park.

Cobra Kai vs Midnight Youth.

Adam Sandler vs Midnight Youth.

 The sunset was unreal. Also, there was a rugby game.

 Scrum.

 The Blues score, everyone is happy except the guys in yellow.  

We could feel the heat from the flames across the stadium.

 #22 Rokocoko.  To Al, From Tim.

Tāmaki of a hundred lovers.

For a small country, it's a big city. 
There are just over 4 million people living in New Zealand and about 1.5 million of those people live in Auckland.  Not even two harbors can stop the sprawl. From Princes Wharf you can see traffic on the Harbour Bridge and the busy fleet of ferries shuttling thousands of people to the picturesque North Shore or any one of the "Book now! Must see!" fifty or so islands off the coast.  Then there are two mountain ranges, forty-eight volcanic cones, and more yachts per capita than any other place in the world.  There is a flurry of movement across the Auckland isthmus that extends the land into the water and stretches the city between two lands.

South of our building is the Westin; North of our building is the Fish Market.  And north of the Fish Market is the almost completed $32 million Viaduct Events Centre.  It would appear that many hardworking laborers are receiving quite a substantial amount of overtime pay to quickly bolt some things together before the Rugby World Cup.  I would do it too, if they would let me.

Finding a job is going slowly.  You know things are gloomy when five temp agencies have no work for someone with a graduate level degree, computer skills above average, and the ability to make coherent statements in both written and spoken English.  There is plenty to do in Auckland that doesn't involve spending huge amounts of money. I'm sure of it. Or, at least I've been told. 

A few days ago we set out to walk across the country -- a barely researched brilliant idea to see Auckland for less than ten dollars.  Unaware this was going to be our afternoon activity, I woke up and ran about 3.5 miles.  I mention this in order to fully explain my reasons for all of the quiet growls and short breaks -- it is sufficient to say there were a few more than a few.  Off we went, posing as intrepid explorers, carrying a camera, two carrots, an apple, wallets, phones, and a city map with lots of colorful lines on it. 

The Coast to Coast Walkway runs through Auckland, connecting the Pacific Ocean and the Tasman Sea.  After putting my hand in the murky Pacific Ocean down by the Wharf, we officially started our hike. Even with the hills, summit loops, volcanic cones, inclines, mountains, hills, hills, non-existant trail markers, construction detours, and zip-lines [yes, there really was a zip-line ... it was in a playground ... for kids ... but ... still ...] we found our way to the Tasman Sea before dark.  In a startling asymmetrical act, I did not touch the Tasman Sea. It makes me feel like I broke the rules of the ancient pioneers,  but believe me you wouldn't have done it either.  The trail terminates at a bay in Onehunga that smelled like a cross between wet dog and raw sewage.  We stood for a minute, acknowledged our great feat and walked to the train station. The Walkway is listed as 16 km but my tired legs found that difficult to believe.

Start: The Coast to Coast Walkway at Princes Wharf. Auckland.

 

Short cut through the Engineering Building at AUT.

Where are the trail markers? I don't know ... Auckland Domain.

 Mt Eden city skyline. Auckland. 

 Mt Eden volcanic crater.

  Mt Eden baby volcanic craters. 

Entrance to Cornwall Park. Auckland

There was a double rainbow in the fountain.

 We have buffalo in Golden Gate Park, they have cows in Cornwall Park.

Moo.

The climb to One Tree Hill. Sheep on the left.

Moon rise and One Tree Hill

 One Tree Hill. No tree though, just an obelisk.

Blue fountain in Onehunga. We are almost there.

 Made it. West Coast. Bay. Tasman Sea. Auckland.

The Elements: Thunderbolt and Lightning

On Sunday, March 13, Tim and I participated in the Ports of Auckland Round the Bays race.  When I registered a few weeks ago, I jokingly asked Tim if he wanted to run with me. 
He said yes.
He said what?
Yes?
Yes!
Almost every morning I roll out of bed, eat a banana, drink chocolate soy milk, and go for a run.  This is what I do. Tim does not.  He prefers to ride bikes, climb rocks, and watch Manchester United. While he has a [semi]secret stash of awards, trophies, posters, and trading cards chronicling his ability to be the best at every sport [mostly true], distance running is not part of the archive. Thanks to my nagging though, running is now the rage [in all of its definitions].

The morning of the race we walked to the start line at Vector Arena.  This would have been a satisfying one mile warm-up, but a mob of people with numbered bibs pinned to their shirts had descended upon Auckland's central business district leaving barely enough room to stand, let alone walk or run. 
Eek!
I have a strong dislike for large crowds. Maybe it's because I'm small or maybe it's because I place great value on being able to breathe -- always -- but the claustrophobic magnitude of 40,000 people is severe. Like, red alert abandon ship mayday mayday we are at DEFCON 1. 
This is SERIOUS.

I decided that I had to find a bathroom.  Immediately. Whether or not I actually had to go didn't matter; I needed do something that would take me away from the epicenter of hell.  We stumbled through the gauntlet looking for toilets and found ourselves waiting in line at a cafe with about 25 other desperate people. Ten minutes and a few mili-mini-metric-centimeters later, I gave up and left.

Tim and I agreed to not run together. I didn't want him to slow me down, you know. Well, really, we just figured we could run a better race if we weren't constantly trying to match each other's pace.  The plan was that I would start first and Tim would hang back.  We knew it would be awhile post-gun shot before we actually crossed the starting line, giving us plenty of time to take our positions.  At 9:30 am the mob collapsed in on itself and then pushed forward in a grand heave-ho.

Our plan fell apart. Tim made a dash for a small opening in the crowd, disappearing before I could wish him good luck.  I however, was still taking baby steps forward, hoping that one day I would cross the start line and then maybe in a few years I would finish the race.  I took my first jogging stride at about 9:37 and then came to a near halt almost immediately, bound by strollers, scooters, walkers, and an inflatable whale.  I don't actually know what time I started to run but it wasn't too long after that I officially entered the video game portion of the race.  Dodging people who are dodging people is surprisingly challenging. 

The race was 8.4 km or about 5.22 miles, a normal daily distance for me.  Except I never run fast, time my runs, accurately calculate the distance of my route, and I am rarely exhausted when I am done.  But moments into this race, I decided to run as fast as I could.  A few things:
1. It is possible that 40,000 people could be just that oblivious.
2. I now know why races start when the sun rises.  Because when races start at 9:30 am in the middle of the summer, it is very hot.
3. 5.22 miles is farther than I thought.
4. I can run fast-ish.

I only stopped at one water stand to pour water on my head. As I waded through the sea of discarded cups, my neurosis kicked in and I jogged to the garbage bin to throw away my cup.  Yes really.

I did eventually make it to the finish line. Since there was no chip-time, they scanned the barcode on your bib with one of those grocery store radar guns as you finished.
[Results based on gun time]. 
I finished the race in 50:47.
Tim finished in 50:59.
That's right, twelve seconds. I'm really not a competitive person but I won! I know I had an unfair advantage because running is my thing, but he started the race before I did so ...

50:47 minus 7+ minutes it took me to reach the starting line after the gun went off is something like 5.22 miles in 42-ish minutes.
This is not our last race.
So, until next time ... twelve seconds!

Round the Bays. Auckland [phone]

View from the end of Princes Wharf.  Auckland [phone]

Peeking into someone's backyard. Auckland [phone]

My favorite parking garage on Hobson Street.  Auckland

March Flowers

Lately, I have been making "To Do" lists to help organize my extremely busy life of leisure and recreation.  Most of these lists stay untouched for days as pristine markers of neglect.  I am thinking about not writing lists anymore so that things will actually get done. 

From my window I can see a cleaning lady making the bed in my neighbor's apartment.  Not that I am spying, I would never. I love our apartment.  It is very clean and pretty.  There is a moat around the building and a biometric security system that almost never recognizes my fingerprint. We are also close to downtown but far enough away so that we hear the squawking of seagulls and not the racket of traffic. And, our apartment is a luxurious oven, baking in the flames of summer sun.  After all the long nights I spent crafting my affectionate aversion to Architecture, I have to say: never ever ever design a glass house without a superior ventilation system.  In the morning, the shades are up and a cool breeze circulates throughout the apartment. Great.  In the afternoon, as the sun creeps across the sky and its rays spray fire from the west, the shades come down.  Now, the wind is no match for the death rays and the shades billow hopelessly like sails on a moored ship. Typically, we are closed for business between the hours of 3pm and 7pm and find someplace else to pass the time.  Then, there is the night.  Oh, night. The night is still, interrupted only by the sounds of dripping sweat on the elegant hardwood floor.  It is hot. Very hot. 

I want to buy plants for the apartment.  We get great sun and I am certain that without much effort, we could turn this place into a greenhouse.  There is a nursery not too far from here, although it does involve a train ride and a couple of hours. Since we haven't made it there yet, every time we pass a florist I always check to see if they sell plants.  Last week though, I decided to buy flowers.  When I went to pay, the florist smiled and said: "Forty dollars please, thank you." What? I got swindled by a florist who pretended she didn't hear how much I wanted to spend.  So, I spent forty dollars on flowers that died in less than one week. Now you know.  

To counterbalance this extravagant lifestyle, we have been more frugal when it comes to food.  In fact, just the other day at the grocery store:
Tim: "Are you sure this is the one you want?"
I looked at him longingly.
Tim: "You can only get one box."
Me: "But ..."
Tim:  "And if you don't like them, you still have to eat them all because it's a lot of money and we can't waste food."
Me: "Okay ..."

 ... Pause ...

Tim: "You have a cookie problem." 
True. And the Hokey Pokey cookies were delicious.


Take the tour:

This is what we see every day as we come and go. 

Sky Tower, Viaduct Harbour, Auckland.

This is a lock. This is our lock. We would use this lock if we had a 

boat and wanted to take our boat from our marina into the harbour. 

We don't have a boat. 

Our private marina, because we need one, of course. 

We live on the 5th Floor of the building on the left.  

Stratis - Lighter Quay, Auckland

Entrance walkway is below the water level.  Neat!

 Spartan living.

 Sliding doors and the approximately 3.5' high, very delicate glass 

panel that barely prevents me from falling out of the apartment.

Sunset. So pretty it hurts. 

The view at night: the glowing pool and the business of everyone 

who left shades up and lights on.

High Road; Low Road.

I fell off the face of the earth in San Francisco and landed here in Auckland.  Not that things needed to be formal, but I left without saying any goodbyes.  I always intended on seeing friends, eating cake, and sitting in Dolores Park, contemplating the hyper-exaggerated yet profound impact of the Coriolis Effect.  In New Zealand, there is a long list of confusing and illogical things that take place on the left, backwards, upside down, inside out, also including birds that fly around indoors, and bus drivers that make change when you hand them $10 for a $4.10 ride.

Life happens fast. I was in so many different cities in several different states right up until the moment I walked on the plane at SFO.  No, not "walked." Walking implies a conscious effort to move my body. Too tired to fight the laws of nature, I was definitely brought here by a conspiracy between El Nino and La Nina. 
I even made invitations, another in my magical New Zealand series [I removed all the pertinent party information in order to be World Wide Web appropriate]:

-----------
Tim was reading about the history of the Princes Wharf and I, balancing on a fine line in a grey area, stood on the steps of the Hilton. Somewhere between exhaustion and sadness, sleepy and lazy, contemplation and disinterest, laughter and crying, quiet and "You aren't listening to me. Did you hear what I said?", content and mad, arms waving and yelling, I sat down, put my hands on my knees and my face in my hands.  A few feet away, there was a man leaning against a pillar unwrapping a chocolate bar, attracting the attention of some obnoxious seagulls.  I stared, impolitely.

I spent almost ten months attempting the impossible, thinking that I could control the Earth's rotation. I planned to use my extraordinary powers to fortify a dangerously unstable stack of cards, weakened with every trip around the axis. Slow the spin. Endlessly frustrated and powerless ... and plainly human. If it wasn't for Meghan I would not be here, writing, lying on the floor, listening to the rain and crickets echo in the harbor.  Last summer, she picked up her computer and started looking at tickets for me to go to New Zealand.  Her one search turned into a grand idea for an around the world trip. "Why? Why not!" she responded, as if I could do absolutely anything I wanted. As if.

I want to see unicorns in New Zealand. I want to see elves, gnomes, yetis, and the loch ness monster.  I would like to think that maybe I am not so powerless. Besides, I am fairly certain there aren't many other people in this world who gain enormous fulfillment from the painstakingly slow process of searching for legendary creatures and other ridiculously awesome things.

Tim, again, coffee obsession. Costa Rica + Colombia. Brewed.

Caffetteria All Press, Auckland.

It's the future! Britomart Transport Centre. Auckland.

Playing a video game waiting for the train. 

J: '"Hey Tim, what are you doing?"

T: "Taking over the world." 

Britomart, Auckland. 

 Circus style awning. Freeman's Bay, Auckland. 

 The view out our window, looking down.  Auckland

 Victoria Park Market, Auckland. 

Victoria Park Market, Auckland.

Upstairs, there is an architect who has taken great lengths to match 

the color scheme of the office space with that of the street space. Nerd. 

Freeman's Bay, Auckland. 

Gentlemen's Corner.  Victoria Park Market. Auckland.

 Alworth jersey. For Tim. Victoria Park Market. Auckland.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Enter Extreme Edge: thick sweat lingering in still air. 
When Tim asked if I wanted to go with him to the climbing gym, I said yes. Yes, I want to ride the train and see my new city. Right before the Panmure stop, I could tell we were entering into an industrial neighborhood and my eagerness to explore was suddenly dampened by my obsession with safety. 

The streets were lined with garbage. Not garbage-bag-trash but everything-but-the-kitchen-sink-[literally]-trash, as if someone had taken a house, lifted it off its foundation, turned it upside down, and shook it. Then, they put the house back down and swept the contents to the curb.  It was not just one house that was moated with household crap, there were many. 

The backdrop to the gym is the Mt Wellington Domain, a small, bright green eruption in a metallic landscape. Although its accessibility is alluring, I put in about 12+ miles of walking/running yesterday. Today, I am trying to store up some energy to put towards my chronic deficit. 

The gym has a lot of neat things for kids to climb: a skyscraper, a train, a rocketship, a clock, the ocean.  I'm not sure how great it is for adults, I will leave that for Tim to decide.  I found a place to sit, next to a pool table and airhockey [I love airhockey!], surrounded by folded walls covered with oddly shaped 3D confetti. What do you call those things?

The craziest thing happened today:
I had my usual 1hour internet pass from the coffee shop and looked at reservations* for hiking the Milford Track, knowing they would be booked until their spring, but curious anyway.  I checked the availability on my birthday, April 6. Wanderlust. No availability, no surprise.  Then a prompt came up that said the next available date to begin the hike was April 7.  Wow!!! The calendar showed that this was the one and only reservation left of the season. ONE. Just one. REALLY.  I would have to hike by myself, but, uh, ... so I booked it.  I am grateful that I can celebrate my life with one of the most life affirming gifts in the universe: to live my dream while fending off blood thirsty sandflies.

Also, Tim and I registered for an 8.4K run here in Auckland on March 13! Round the Bays, here we come. Or, here I come because Tim doesn't ever run! [should be interesting, ha!]

*The NZ Department of Conversation regulates the number of hikers on the track per day/per season.  The Milford Sound is one of the most popular -- most beautiful -- hikes in the world. I have wanted to do this forever.  I was unable to do this hike the last time I was here because the season had not yet started. I was certain I would not be able to do it this trip either because I delayed, having prioritized some other things for the last few months.  Yep!  FYI: I have never been camping [almost true].

 

Delicious vegan sandwiches at Raw Power, Vulcan Lane.

Auckland, NZ

 Church. Auckland, NZ

 Thai punny. Auckland, NZ

 

Auckland City vs Waitakere. Auckland, NZ

 

Auckland City vs Waitakere. Auckland, NZ

 Carrot. Symonds Street Cemetery, Auckland, NZ.

 Be Done. Symonds Street Cemetery, Auckland, NZ.